The episode opens, innocently enough, with views of Boston from the air! Tell me you weren't expecting this and I'll seriously wonder where you've been for the past three recaps and three seasons of Rizzoli & Isles.
We proceed to some sort of charity fundraiser, where a weirdly attractive man and his wife, a woman with pearly-white teeth, are giving a speech about how their son nearly died of what we assume was lukaemia. Luckily he was saved by an anonymous bone marrow donor so they started a bone marrow donor fundraiser thing. Cool. No one's being murdered yet, but Jane (Angie Harmon) keeps being mistaken for a waiter so I'm sure it's only a matter of time.
Jane Rizzoli does not mingle.
Maura (Sasha Alexander) is getting her flirt on with some doctor guy, so she's happy to let Jane beg off socialising duty (especially because Pearly-Teeth is stalking her) and drive home. Title credits role.
Back to the fundraiser, where Maura and Doctor Dude (James Snyder) are flirting... through a conversation about how female artists are marginalised. Whatever floats their respective boats. Maura tries to leave, but Doctor Dude has her favourite wine. She tells him a bit about work, there's a case about bones he seems interested in, but she can't tell him because then she'd have to kill him because it's an open investigation. Doctor Dude doesn't seem to know what to do with his glass of wine - he picks it up, looks at it, puts it down and then picks it up again... and after all that, they don't even show him actually drinking it.
Wine is for less attractive men than I.
The two of them leave the fundraiser, talking about something insignificant (unless all of this 'art' stuff is a clue that I'll be required to know later...) and Doctor Dude gives a bad pick-up line and then refuses to let Maura take a cab, offering her a lift home. The reluctant wine drinking and suspicious tilt to his eyebrows is giving me a bad date-rapey vibe, but maybe I'm just not trusting. Maura is more trusting than I, takes his arm and walks away.
It's another shot of what I think is Boston! This one is revealing the fact that it is now morning. Dramatic? I dunno. Oh but it turns out it is dramatic, because Jane turns up at Maura's house looking for the woman in question, who is not answering her phone. Jane's mother (Lorraine Bracco) is upset because they discovered bones at the site of a mall and she wanted to go shopping there. She then reveals her self-defence moves, which puzzle me and also Jane.
What gives? Maura's missing and you're mentioning those bones again.
I'm starting to suspect the bones are a significant part of the plot. LOL jks that was obvious ages ago. Moving on, we discover that Maura (and her phone) are both asleep on the couch, where nobody, including the trained detective, managed to spot them. Oh dear. She's still in last night's clothes, is dazed and headachy and has that raccoon mascara look that you get from sleeping in make-up. Bad date? (Ha! Told you.) Jane is worried because Maura is not being scientific enough.
We cut to a crime scene, where Frost (Lee Thompson Young) and Korsak (Bruce McGill) are investigating a dude who is dead in his car. They have a brief, manly discussion about the car which I ignore because I don't like cars. Jane and Maura show up, and Maura is still wearing the same clothes (and ringed mascara) which I find odd, since she was in her own house not moments ago, and could have taken five minutes to change. No? Ok then. Frost and Korsak immediately notice that she's wearing the same clothes. Tough break. No one ever notices when I do that.
Meanwhile, we already have a few observations about our victim. He was killed in the car and punched in the throat. He also has the same ugly parting and greasy hair as Doctor Dude, so I'm going to call it and say Doctor Dude is dead. Whoever he is, he died within the last eight hours... and I was right. It is Doctor Dude.
Holy crap, did I kill that guy?
Let us all take a moment to feel bad for Doctor Dude. ... ... ... done? Me too. He wasn't a very nice guy. Maura's ID badge is on the floor of the front seat, but she can't remember how it got there. So she remembers meeting the dude but not getting a ride home with him? Shady. Everyone makes the WTF face but Jane does it best.
If there were a 'WTF-face' competition, this girl would win.
Screen goes to black for dramatic effect. When we return, Maura is sitting on a bench doing the 'what did I do last night' pose and the three detectives are standing aroung talking about how they prevent the media from finding out about this. Uh, I'm sorry, finding out about what? Since when did an ID badge in a car automatically mean that the owner of said badge was the killer? I thought these people were supposed to be detectives, not jump-to-the-first-possible-most-dramatic-conclusion-no-matter-how-unlikely-ectives. Apparently this is serious, because Cavanaugh (Brian Goodman) shows up. He tells the guys that this is bad, and they need to bring Maura in for questioning. I'm... still not following their logic. Do they have her fingerprints on the guy's neck or something? At this stage all they know is that she was in the car and she was rip-roaring drunk (or drugged, which seems more likely. Does one glass of wine really give you memory loss?). Cavanaugh is preaching doomsday, and a new ME is coming to do the autopsy. Apparently he's an idiot. Jane makes a few more excellent WTF faces aaaaand scene change.
Not exactly giving off her best 'innocent' vibe there...
We return to the Boston PD HQ where Maura sits in an interview room looking... creepy and masochistic. We'll assume it's just a phase and she'll be back to her old sweet self before long. Jane is being a good best friend, and points out that now might not be the best time for an interview because Maura is acting weird. Korsak agrees, and says that this morning it seemed as though someone else was in her body. If this were a sci-fi show I would start getting excited, but it's not. I'm surprised Korsak is so knowledgeable, since he only spoke to Maura for about two minutes in the morning, but he goes on to mention roofies and redeems himself in my eyes. Jane agrees enthusiastically, pointing out that Doctor Dude is a doctor and would therefore know a lot about roofies, and we now have proof that I would make a brilliant fictional detective.
Cavanaugh says he'll do a tox screen, but they have to interview her first. Korsak suggests a rape kit. She doesn't look like she was beat up, but if the drug used was ketamine (aka Special K) - that just lowers inhibitions and makes people drowsy, so I suppose it's a reasonable suggestion. Let's move on from my weird knowledge of drugs and back to the scene. Jane is upset and still being an awesome best friend. I approve. She's gonna do the interview herself.
I'm here delivering secret exposition.
Frost shows up with a folder, which he hands to Jane, explaining that she's "gotta see this". We, the audience, don't see the folder, but Jane's sad and yet angry face makes me insanely curious to find out what was in the folder. It's actually a pretty excellent use of suspense, in what, roughly ten minutes in, is shaping up to be a good episode. The audience is more eager to find out about the crime than usual, because Maura is involved, but the episode is also keeping a heavy focus on the relationships between the characters - if Maura's been hurt, it will affect Jane and, more indirectly, the rest of the cop 'family'. Thus far, perfect balance between crime and character development.
Into the interview room we go, and Jane is making sympathetic faces. She asks Maura a few basic questions, whereupon Maura suddenly remembers that she was in Doctor Dude's car after all. This would have been more exciting if we hadn't already known that. The secret exposition is revealed - it turns out Doctor Dude was not actually a doctor, but a guy with a criminal record for theft and drug possession, outstanding child support bills and he worked as a bouncer at a nightclub. Maura is stressed out by this news and makes stressed out faces. She takes off her coat, which seems unimportant until suddenly Jane notices massive bruises all over her forearms. This makes me angry because I like Maura and people shouldn't be hurting her. Again, shrewd move by the creative team to make us care even more about solving this particular crime. Maura theorises that these kinds of bruises would be caused by her throwing a punch and it being blocked by someone's arm. I find it weird, if that's the case, that the bruises are on both of her arms, because most people only tend to punch with their strong hand. Maura digs herself into a deeper hole by saying that studies show even the most docile human being can commit murder. Cavanaugh recommends documenting the bruises and taking her clothes.
Abruptly, some fanservice appears!
Fanservice is something that even the best show can be guilty of, and it never fails to annoy me. Both men and women can fall pray to fanservice, and I don't approve of either, although, in the pursuit of truth and justice, I think I should point out that a) fanservice is much more likely to be aimed at men and b) I personally enjoy it more when the men are the ones stripping. But even if the fanservice in question is some dude's really impressive six-pack, I still find it irritating. However, I concede that there are times when stripping is a necessary part of the plot. I think, though, it's safe to say that this is not one of those times, as the only thing that happens next is Jane and Maura having a touching conversation which they could just as easily have had while she was fully dressed. It's also clearly not just to showcase police procedure, because they also require her underwear, but we don't get to see that.
The news people apparently found out that Maura is a suspect, because we see a short clip of a news guy talking about her and her father until Korsak gets upset and turns it off. Yet another reminder that Maura's situation has a ripple effect.
Hi, I'm here to be a ridiculously awesome brother.
Following on with the same theme, Frankie (Jordan Bridges) shows up and asks Jane how Maura is, then how Jane is. He also wants to know what he can do to help. This guy makes me happy with his awesomeness. Jane asks Frankie to do some digging and check on people that Doctor Dude knew. But she asks him to check on their mother, first, proving yet again how important Maura is to a bunch of people.
Speaking of Maura, she appears suddenly from the lift clad in a white jumpsuit. She isn't wearing her heels and it suddenly makes her look really short. I would be excited that someone is short if I didn't know that she's at least 10 cm taller than me. Instead, I feel depressed, because if she looks that short, imagine how irritatingly tiny and childlike I would look. But that is a selfish train of thought. Maura is in trouble! She does a truly excellent job of looking sad and vulnerable (there's some really brilliant acting by both Harmon and Alexander going on here) as they escort her to hospital for her rape kit, which just sounds awful. It will not be fun. Cops' heads turn and they whisper as she leaves. You'd think, as trained professionals, they'd be a bit more discreet about their gossiping, but really the only thing they're not doing is pointing at her.
Frankie and Angela have a brief exchange about the fact that they are worried, and then Frankie leaves and Susie (Tina Huang) takes his place.
I don't usually get lines, which makes this conversation even more important.
Susie starts off on a confusing foot, by asking for scotch (which the cafe doesn't have) and then revealing that she doesn't drink scotch. Awkward. She gets back into clearer waters, though, asking Angela how she is holding up and then taking part in a brief discussion about the ineptness of the ME coming to do the autopsy instead of Maura. I can't remember if he's a character we've seen before. Susie also says that she thinks the death blow was a direct hit to Doctor Dude's trachea, and that his killer was someone who knew what they were doing. I find it hard to believe that skinny Maura could deliver a punch to a man's throat with enough force to collapse his airway, but I'm not a professional doctor, just a professional TV watcher. Angela goes randomly vague, which either means she has a plan or she's in shock from the shockingness of the situation. I don't know which.
Suddenly, Maura is back in her office. It all seems very comforting and familiar until Jane marches in and hisses "What are you doing here?" in a stage whisper. Maura points out that she's not under arrest and she's allowed to be here. She also says there was no evidence of sexual assault, which is a relief but also expected. I didn't think they would do something like that to such a strong, major character. You never know, though. Meanwhile, Maura gives a long speech on the way the brain reacts to rage. She says that the bruises on her arms signify she was angry and attacked the guy and she's worried that she killed him. Cavanaugh storms in and breaks the conversation up before they can say more.
Korsak interviews Doctor Dude's ex-wife, who seems to be some kind of a prostitute. It's hard to tell. They theorise that one of her 'clients' could have set Maura up, as several of them are cops. They also say that she's not co-operating (do they ever?) so they're gonna have to do some digging. All basic stuff. I'm losing interest, and we're getting to the middle of the episode, so they'll need to pick up the pace again - soon.
I'm walking in looking determined. Did you think I didn't have a plan? Pfft. Noob.
Just as I think that, Angela walks into Cavanaugh's office with a plan. Oh but wait! It's not a plan. It's a video on her phone. The video is shown to the whole gang (minus Maura) and it shows one of Maura's self-defence lessons (oh that's why she mentioned it earlier. Speaking of earlier, when are the bones going to show up again?) where Maura breaks a board with her elbow and explains you could "literally kill a man with that move". Things would be looking bad if we seriously thought that they would be willing to turn one of the heroes of their show into a murderer. (Mind you, Dexter did it...) This quite neatly rules out my 'she wouldn't be strong enough' objection. Smooth move.
Suddenly a bunch of stuff starts happening. Susie shows up again (again!) to say that there were no drugs in Maura's system. Also the skin found under her fingernails was from Doctor Dude. The crime lab sends a report to Frost at the same time, which states that both Maura's fingerprints and hair were found in the car (but we knew that already). I don't know why the fingerprints and hair would be in the back seat... especially if there was no evidence of sexual assault. Oh, well. WE WILL SOON DISCOVER ALL. I'm getting excited for the reveal. They're building this up nicely.
Jane, Frost and Korsak show up at Maura's house to arrest her, in a sad and traumatic scene with good music. I approve.
It's hard to find a witty caption for this one, isn't it? Just so many options...
Maura gets taken to prison in a surprisingly flattering orange jumpsuit. She gets punched in the face by one of the other inmates because they figure out she's a cop (or works with cops) but a mysteriously friendly redheaded guard shows up and gets her ice. She also says that Paddy Doyle sends his regards, and if Maura should need anything, to ask for Mary Pat. So I guess she's the Irish Mob's girl on the inside, right? Maura is grateful for her father (or not, but at this point she should be) and we return to Jane's house. She's eating olives and ketchup and chatting to Frankie about what he's found out. Doctor Dude was employed at a club where a bunch of celebrities hung out. He was a conman.
Enter Angela. Jane is pissed with her mother for giving the video to Cavanaugh, but her mother says she did it so that Jane wasn't put in a tough spot. Good mothering. Jane is still pissed. Back to jail we go, where Maura is nursing ice. The woman who punched her earlier is escorted out by Mary Pat the guard, and as she leaves, she threatens to return (presumably to beat Maura up some more) and blows Maura a sarcastic kiss. Suddenly, flashback! Memories are triggered of a man with a black glove (Doctor Dude?) blowing white powder into Maura's face.
Jane visits the prison, and Maura tries to tell her something about the tox screen. Jane, being a good friend, is distracted by the whopping great bruise on Maura's face and promptly announces to all the inmates that she will make their lives short and miserable if they hurt Maura again. She's epic. Maura is not impressed with her friend's epicness, and insists that Susie has to rerun the tox screen, searching for a specific drug. Jane agrees, and gives Maura some handy advice for jail time. ("Just stay alive.")
Jane, Korsak and Frost are back at the precinct. We can assume it's late night/early morning because Korsak was woken up and Frost... was on a date? Wait, what? I want to hear more about Frost's date! Frost has a girlfriend? ...ok, apparently we don't get to hear anymore. Whatever.
Wait, they don't get to hear about my date? Aw, man...
The tox screen isn't back yet, but given that there are only about ten minutes of the episode left, we can safely assume that this is definitely the drug Maura was given. Even episodes as good as this one are incredibly predictable. Apparently this 'zombie drug' makes you do anything anyone tells you and forget about it afterwards. I don't know if it's a real drug, but it sounds incredibly convenient. They check Doctor Dude's bank statements (shouldn't they have done that earlier?) and find that someone gave him several hundred dollars. They also find that all of the things he knew about Maura (her favourite wine, her favourite art) were mentioned in an interview she did. Aha! Doctor Dude was sent to the fundraiser specifically to target Maura. (But what about the bones? What do the bones have to do with it?)
The gang talks to Cavanaugh. He's sceptical because Maura's bank accounts weren't wiped and she wasn't sexually assaulted (all common things one does with the zombie drug, it seems) but the gang tells him they suspect Doctor Dude was after Maura's ID card. Her card was swiped at 2 AM, but whoever swiped it was a) not seen by cameras, b) didn't steal anything and c) left zero fingerprints. Clever theorising hits a dead end and Cavanaugh is not impressed.
They head down to the morgue to talk to Susie (again!!) and she says that nothing is missing. Jane makes a thoughtful face. "What about the bone room? Did anybody check that?" AHA! THE BONES! Finally, the puzzle piece falls into place. The bone room has a heat activated touch screen, which means they might be able to get prints off it. Awesome! Korsak tells Susie not to touch the screen so that she doesn't screw up the prints. Um... but then somehow they make it into the bone room while he's still getting prints. How did they do that, exactly?
Uh, guys? Does anyone know how we got in here?
Let's assume they teleported. Inventory is taken, and the bones from the mall (aka the bones already mentioned twice) are missing. Was anyone surprised by that? Yeah, me neither. Maura gets her new friend Mary Pat to let her use the computer to help Jane and the others. Maura guesses (she hates guessing) that the bones belonged to a woman in her 20s. Maura gives more measurements, but since it's in the American system I have no idea what the measurements mean and therefore cannot be bothered to write them down. Suffice to say I think the woman was of average height and weight. She'd been buried for 6 - 12 months.
With her medical magic, Maura identifies the woman and then says that she died in the same way as Doctor Dude. Bam! A tiny bone fragment is discovered to be a fetal collarbone. The bones woman was pregnant, and the DNA of the fetus could tie the killer to her. That is, if we assume the killer is also the father of the baby. There sure is a lot of guesswork in detecting. The fetal DNA is done in record time and Doctor Dude is not the father. No one was surprised by this. Desperate for more evidence, Jane goes down to see Susie, who is having a record run in this episode. She uses a machine to see the bruising on Doctor Dude's neck. Three strange oval marks are identified, a pattern not consistent with an elbow (well duh). It's not overwhelmingly helpful, but it's more evidence and every little helps, right? Susie suddenly reveals that Maura is her hero. So is Jane.
That... is the most adorable thing I've ever heard.
And then they identify the father of the bone baby. It is... DUN DUN DUN... husband to Pearly Teeth! You might remember her from the very beginning of this chapter. Her husband's name is Tucker. He had an affair with a lady, and realised when she got pregnant that the only way to save his marriage was to kill her, which he promptly did. Ten months later, Maura starts rediscovering the bones, so Tucker cleverly got her arrested for murder. Ah, but why did he kill Doctor Dude? Jane's figured that out too. He just didn't want any witnesses. The gang goes to question him. Frost pretends to be a valet and gets Tucker's keys. Is that illegal? Probably not, since he wasn't wearing a valet uniform or anything. Tucker's key chain turns out to be the weapon he uses for punching people in the throat. Probable cause, ladies and gents! They confront him and arrest him. Hurrah! Murder never pays, people. Remember that.
*sniff* I just love happy endings.
Back to the precinct, and everybody claps Maura on her return. The Russian ME, who has FINALLY shown up after being mentioned throughout the entire episodes, thinks they are clapping for him, and then wanders off drunkenly. Okay then. Maura hugs everybody, once again cementing the idea that every member of this little cop family is essential, and the episode ends. Everyone feeling warm and fuzzy? Good! See you next episode.