So, let me start off by saying how excited I am for this episode. Yay! Last season of Castle ended with a cliffhanger proposal, and seriously, it's just cruel of them to leave fans hanging for this long. So without further ado, let's jump right into it. We begin with a 'Previously, on Castle' montage, just in case there's anyone out there who can't remember what happened last time.
Yep, that's totally the face I would make if Nathan Fillion proposed to me.
Ugh, sorry for the low-res image. Anyway, we jump straight into it - quite literally - and Beckett (Stana Katic) yelps, "Oh my God," and jumps off the swing. A brief but hilarious conversation ensues, in which Beckett explains that she thought Castle (Nathan Fillion) was breaking up with her and Castle points out that he's proposing. And then there's confusion over what her answer actually is. The words 'yes' and 'no' are repeated so much that even I don't know what's going on anymore. But wait! Beckett has something to tell him. She got the job in DC and she wants to take it. Does that change Castle's mind? No, of course not! A supremely adorable and loving speech follows. I wish guys gave speeches like that in real life. Beckett runs through all of Castle's names (he has two middle names! Like me!) and says yes. Yes she will marry him. Hoardes of fans across the world scream, cheer, throw their popcorn in the air and run around the house dancing and singing. More loving stuff aaaand new scene!
There's a skyline of a city which I recognise only from the monument (and repeated viewings of NCIS) and just in case we didn't know, words at the bottom of the picture tell us that this is Washington D.C. (what does DC stand for?) and it's two months later. Boom, Beckett is running. She's running fast, chasing some guy through a crowd of completely oblivious people who seem to neither know or care what is going on! Bad Guy turns a corner into an alley, Beckett follows, and ooh, that's cool, she gets to announce herself as 'Federal Agent' now. (Can I just theorise that there's no way this job is going to work out? I can't see them just getting rid of Gates, Espo and Ryan like that...) Bad Guy comes out from a doorway and he has a hostage. His hostage is wearing a floral dress and looks just as vague and confused as everyone on the street did. (Shouldn't she be scared?) Meanwhile, Bad Guy has a strong accent which I assume is Russian (because they're always Russian in American shows) but I can't tell. He wants Beckett's gun. Beckett agrees to give it to him, and lowers it to the ground. She has a trick up her sleeve, though (literally) and slides a small metal disc onto the gun. Bad Guy fails to notice. She slides the gun over to him and BOOM it flashes and it bangs. Bad Guy yells in pain or shock or something, tosses away his sheeplike hostage and Beckett punches him. Then she punches him again and then she arrests him. She turns around to check on Floral Dress Hostage, only to find the woman holding a gun (oh, so that's why she didn't look scared). She fires on Beckett.
I hope no one thinks I'm actually dead, because this is quite clearly a training scenario.
The Bad Guy and his Floral Dress Hostage run off gleefully, and another agent rounds the corner as Beckett falls to the floor. Worst backup ever. She runs over to Beckett and gives her a sarcastic congratulations - because of her, the Czechs (I told you I was bad at accents, sorry) have some nuclear launch codes or something. It sounds like a load of rubbish, so I'm not surprised when Beckett opens her eyes and then Bad Guy and Floral Dress Hostage come back doing a very annoying slow clap, proving that they are also part of this training or whatever. I take issue with everyone being sarcastic about Beckett's failure. Wouldn't the sensible, mature, adult thing to do be to explain what she did wrong and correct her mistakes instead of bullying her? Ugh. Work. It sucks no matter what your job is.
Back at... well, it's not a precinct, but it's some sort of base. Worst Backup Agent Ever (Lisa Edelstein, to be known from here on as WBAE unless someone says her name and I remember it) is giving Beckett some sort of idea of what she did wrong, but her advice is rude and unhelpful. She marches off and Beckett is left alone, annoyed because there is a bunch of red paint on her shirt. An attractive guy wanders over to her and is friendly. I'm torn between being happy with him for his friendliness, or concerned that he's trying to flirt with Beckett (because really, an affair is the one relationship issue I couldn't even forgive these awesome characters for). He asks her out for drinks (nooooooo) but she turns him down because this is her first weekend off in a long time and she has plans. WBAE comes along and says (in an unnessecarily pleased voice) that Beckett will have to cancel her plans because they have... a situation? I wasn't listening. Whatever.
At Castle's loft! Thank goodness, somewhere familiar. Castle comes in through the door... sideways? Oh, he's carrying a life-size cardboard cut-out of himself, I see. (My sister once made me carry a life-size cardboard cut-out of James Bond through the shopping centre. It was so incredibly awkward.) Everyone has come back from a trip, and Martha (Susan Sullivan) provides some exposition. Castle was on a book tour and Alexis (Molly Quinn) was in Costa Rica. She's arrived back early and brought some guy called Pi (Myko Olivier) with her. Pi likes hugs and he doesn't care about spelling (Castle looks just as horrified as I am) he also wants to 'light *something* up' and I have no idea what. Cigars? Marijuana? Incense? Pi has a douchey moustache. I don't like him.
I don't like him either.
Pi and Alexis do some spontaneous making out in the kitchen, so Castle tries to set boundaries. His attempts are ineffective but he tells Alexis they will talk about it later. His phone rings and it's Beckett. Castle doesn't want her flight to be delayed because he misses her but she has to explain that she can't come. Castle is reasonably understanding (because he was the one who cancelled last time) even though they haven't seen each other for six weeks. But he's also sad. So is Beckett.
An aerial view of Washington DC (I can't be bothered to do the dots, okay?) tells us that it's now night, and Beckett is in what I assume isher DC apartment, marching in and staring at herself in the mirror. She starts to unbutton her shirt and a close-up cleavage shot appears, which would normally annoy me but it's okay, because they're focusing on the ring which she's wearing around her neck, so that's actually important to the plot. A shadowy figure appears behing her, but with superb reflexes (other fictional detectives who get ambushed in their apartment should take lessons from her) Beckett whips out her gun and spins around. Castle requests that she finish taking her shirt off before she shoots him. Wait, what? It's Castle? What is he doing here? Beckett wants to know that too. No particular reason - Castle just couldn't stand another week without her. Beckett says she wants him to leave, but then she jumps him and frantic tearing of clothes ensues. So... that's a mixed message, then.
It's morning, and Beckett is up, dressed, and drinking her own coffee while going over a file. Uh oh. Is that a bad sign? I know I should stop reading so much into the coffee in this show, but really... is that a bad sign? Castle's awake too, and he wants to know about Beckett's case. She can't tell him, because it's classified, but he's going to guess anyway. He misses them working together, and so does Beckett, but she still can't tell him. There's a knock on the door. DUN DUN DUN. Beckett drops her folder and opens the door to find WBAE. It makes sense that WBAE would ruin this moment. I've only known this woman for ten minutes but I already hate her. She manages to make me dislike her more by saying "So, your fiance is visiting." Um, yes, thank you for stating the obvious. Honestly, these government agents. Beckett says her name while introducing her to Castle but I wasn't paying attention. Castle shakes hands for longer than is socially acceptable. Beckett runs out fast, but she stops to wink a goodbye at Castle, and then as the door closes Castle spots something - a piece of paper that fell out of Beckett's folder onto the floor. He picks it up to stare at it. Uh oh. Title credits roll (only they're very short and not really credits, but you know what I mean).
An aerial shot of... New York? I think? ...leads us down into the precinct, where someone is swaddling a baby in a drawer.
Help meeeeee!
The poor plastic thing is the unwilling victim of Ryan (Seamus Dever), who is practicing because his wife is going to give birth in four months. Esposito (Jon Huertas) is not impressed. He answers the phone, and it's Castle. He bribes Ryan and Espo with... something... if they help him figure out the serial number on the photo of the transformer that Beckett left behind. Of course, he doesn't tell them he's breaching national security, so they help out. Cute Tech Lady (who I think I've seen before and I like) looks the serial number up for them. She tells Castle that the transformer was used in Ashton Heights, Arlington - oh look, and someone's flagged it as having been sabotaged and being investigated by the feds. Ryan and Espo put two and two together and work out that it's a real case, so in an incredibly smooth move (no, seriously) Castle pretends his phone is cutting out and hangs up on them. He does some musing about the case and we cut to the DC precinct, where Beckett fills things in a bit more. When the transformer was sabotaged, it caused a blackout, which shut down the power and security system of some place called Cybertech (what a creative name) and someone snuck in and stole something something something encryption system that serves as a gateway to the entire military satellite network. Why does stuff like this always happen on TV? Whoever has the code can shut down the satellites and leave a large portion of the US military defence blind. This would be a huge problem if people were actually attacking America at the moment. Newsflash - they aren't. But I suppose they're worried about terrorists and stuff, right? I don't know. I find it hard to understand all of this. It kind of feels like someone strung a bunch of words together and pretended it was a security threat.
A long detecting sort of conversation follows. They discuss how the person possibly had military training, how they had to be very speedy and get into the building through an air vent. Attractive Guy is back and he mentions how the camera reset five minutes after the blackout (on battery power) and none of the cameras saw him leaving. Aha! Beckett is clever so she thinks of drainage pipes. They follow the drainage pipes onscreen and find a place called "Shady Meadows Golf Club". Doesn't that name just tell you it's a suspicious area? Beckett and WBAE agree, so they head to the golf club. A security guard there mentions that someone else was asking about the blackout, and instantly they are suspicious. He points them towards this mysterious guy and... oh... it's Castle.
I... ah... um... WHAT?!
I am equally puzzled about how Castle worked all this out. WBAE and Beckett make 'WTF' faces. Beckett does it best. Castle spots the two of them and wanders over, trying to pretend that he was playing golf. WBAE is not fooled because he has no golf clubs. Uh, maybe he LOST them. Ok, I accept that's improbable, I just don't like her. She says this is their only warning and then wanders away, and Castle and Beckett chat. Castle explains how he figured out what was going on and then he tells Beckett what he discovered at the golf club. She's grateful for his info but reminds him that they are breaking lots of laws so he must stop investigating. Castle promises he will stop. No one will even know he was here. That's a nice segue, because it leads right into a view from a camera lense - and someone takes lots of pictures of Castle. Uh oh.
I think I look best from this angle. How about you, mysterious photographer?
Back at the DC precinct, and Beckett is frozen with fear because WBAE is talking to her boss. Oh noes! She starts walking towards her boss with a terrified expression, but as he heads past her all he says is to keep up the good work. Huh! Beckett thanks WBAE for not telling on her. WBAE once talked in her sleep about a classified operation, so she sympathises but says it can only happen once. Beckett agrees. They go over the security video from the golf course and a tech guy uses magical face enhancing software to find the guy's face. Unfortunately, in real life videos don't work like that and if you blow them up to see a numberplate or a face they just dissolve into a bunch of meaningless pixels. But maybe this is supposed to be super high-tech-secret-government-technology that I know nothing about, so it totally works. They get a hit on his face - his name is Jack something and he's a former Marine. They go to his house and bust the door down.
There's no one in the house, but there is a backpack containing stuff you'd need to rob Cybertech. Beckett also finds a hair on the couch (a very long hair) so she says they should be looking for a girlfriend too. Hm. That's the trouble with long hair - it sheds constantly. I'm always finding my hair in weird places. Remind me to wear a beanie if I ever go to commit a crime (which I will not do. That was a joke. Don't freak out). Castle calls, and asks Beckett what kind of wine she wants with the dinner he's cooking her. That's sweet. She wants red wine, and asks him to get that kind that makes her... something. I missed that word, but she made a face so I assume it was something dirty. Castle says he'll buy a whole case but I'm distracted from the terrifying bald guy striding along behind Castle and staring at him. Suddenly he says that Castle is going to walk over to his car and get in like he knows the man. Castle protests but Bald Guy (who I think might be Jack) has a gun. Uh oh. Castle recognises the car as the same one spotted at the golf course. Jack jumps in and starts driving (through a red light) while asking Castle what he knows about the investigation and whether the feds know about 'Valkyrie'. That's the title of the episode, so we know it's important. Castle knows nothing, and says so, and then Jack starts slurring and yelling in pain and oops, he's passed out. Castle struggles to steer the car and crashes it into a bus stop.
New scene, and Attractive Guy, WBAE and Beckett are all at the crash site. Jack (it was Jack) is dead, so they carry him out in a bodybag. The information they need wasn't in the car, and then WBAE and Beckett spot Castle in the ambulance. WBAE paraphrases perfectly with, "You've got to be kidding me." I agree. 'WTF' faces part two!
Beckett still wins.
Beckett says she'll talk to him, but WBAE wants to do it instead. She also tells Attractive Guy to arrest him (which is completely unfair because Castle got kidnapped, and don't they have to hear his side of the story first? Argh, rage). Castle gets put in an interrogation room, where Beckett's boss interrogates him rudely. I'm insulted on Castle's behalf, because seriously, someone just abducted him at gunpoint and this is how he gets treated? Humph. (Also draws an interesting parallel to the whole 'suspect the hostage' thing they went through in the training at the start.) Castle tells Beckett's boss that Jack was asking about Valkyrie, but the feds don't know what that means either. Beckett tries to defend Castle - oh, and her boss knows he isn't involved, because they have ATM footage of Jack holding a gun on him. He just wanted to teach Castle a lesson. Seriously? Ohhhhh I hate him. I hate him even more than WBAE.
Meanwhile they've discovered the identity of Jack's girlfriend, and they're sure she's involved. They say a bunch of stuff which is mostly unhelpful, and then WBAE and Attractive Guy go off to try and find her. Beckett's boss wants a word with her. I'm kind of hoping he fires her so that she can go back to New York, where every single secondary character doesn't piss me off unbearably. We don't get to see what he says, but some time later Beckett goes into interrogation to let Castle out. She brings him coffee. That's got to be a good sign. They still love each other, but Castle has to go back to New York.
Depressingly, even Castle's loft is full of annoying new characters. Pi and his douchey moustache are making steak. The steak is made out of melon. This man is clearly insane. No, wait... he's just a fruitarian. He only eats fruit. That... doesn't sound healthy. He's also making a mess all over the kitchen, and he lives in Amsterdam but he's lost his passport so he'll probably never be able to leave! Oh, joy. Castle gets his 'solving something' expression and rushes off to find someone to talk to, leaving Pi feeling inadequate.
Back in DC, they've found Jack's girlfriend and she's going to Union Station - she's making a run for it. That's... pretty much all that happened in that scene. New York again!
Party in the precinct break room!
Castle is telling Ryan and Espo about his innermost thoughts, and how he's worried he and Beckett are out of sync. I thought guys didn't stand around talking about feelings? Castle tells them how he was abducted and says how Jack talked about Valkyrie and dreamworld before he died. (I didn't hear dreamworld? My bad). Anyway, turns out Esposito knows about Dreamworld, and it's some kind of ghost military base secret operation thingo. He says if Beckett's involved in something to do with Dreamworld then it's way bigger than she knows. Castle makes an anxious 'help-my-fiance-is-involved-in-serious-things' face.
At Union Station, Beckett's instincts tell her that something else is going on and they should wait, instead of moving in on Jack's girlfriend immediately. They follow her to a locker, which she opens, and then they arrest her. She pretends to be confused (or maybe she actually is confused) and Beckett looks in the locker. The secret military information is there! Hooray! The day is saved.
But wait, there's more. Jack's girlfriend (Jeanette, in case you were wondering) is in interrogation and she tells them that Jack is being set up. He got a phone call a couple of days ago that really scared him, went to the golf course to meet someone, but the someone in question never showed up. Jack was very scared and told Jeanette to go to that locker at Union Station where she would find money and he would find her. Jeanette was scared too. WBAE doesn't believe her, but Beckett does. She thinks it was too easy, and that someone with Jack's military training wouldn't make all of the mistakes he made. She wonders if maybe stealing the satellite thingy was a diversion, and checks the other floors of the building Cybertech as in. Most of them are quite unobtrusive, but suddenly she finds that floor 8 is classified. Hmm. Dreamworld?
Back in Castle's loft, he's using some non-existant search engine (seriously, no one on TV ever uses Google. EVER. Sometimes they use Bing though...) to look up 'dreamworld secret base' and 'military ghost base'. Alexis comes in and says that she hopes he isn't investigating Beckett's case (to which Castle makes a guilty face) and there's a knock at the door. Suddenly men in black come in. They want Castle to come with them. (That's what happens if you un-Google 'dreamworld secret base'.) Castle yells over his shoulder for Alexis and Martha to call his lawyer and Beckett.
This is all very mysterious.
Back in DC and Castle is in interrogation again. They took some of his blood, probably to clone him. It's lucky that wasn't me, because I have crazy veins that don't work like normal veins and the federal agents probably would have found it suspicious when they couldn't find my blood anywhere in my arms. Beckett comes in (to interrogation, not my arms) and starts delivering exposition. Something else was stolen from the building - a chemically engineered bioweapon sort of thing - enough to kill thousands of people. It was used to kill Jack, and they delivered it through the ventilation of his car. Castle looks concerned, because he was in the car, and Beckett reveals that he is infected too. They think he has about a day to live.
I should think so!
That's it! The episode has ended. Who will die? DUN DUN DUN. When will things get back to normal? DUN DUN DUN. Tune in next week for another epic recap by Zaffie! (No but seriously. Do it.)